A Non-Denominational & Unincorporated Church
THE TRUTH ABOUT SEXUALITY
Framework for Sacred Sexuality
Balance, Responsibility, and Wholeness
Foundational Principle
The First Source and Center of All Things/God designed us for joy and pleasure, which are fruits of our long evolutionary journey. However, these pleasures are meant to be experienced within a framework of responsibility that protects our highest evolutionary achievements: the stable self (property/self-maintenance) and the loving family (marriage/home). Pleasure becomes destructive when it undermines these pillars.
1. The Medical-Biological Perspective: The Body's Design
Rule 1: Honor Your Body as a Well-Designed Temple.
Support: Human sexuality involves complex biological systems—the nervous system for pleasure (dopamine, oxytocin), the endocrine system for hormones, and the reproductive system for procreation. These systems are designed to function optimally in contexts of safety and mutual commitment.
Health Benefits of Balanced Sexuality:
Stress Reduction: Sexual activity in a secure relationship can lower cortisol levels and blood pressure.
Improved Immunity: Regular, healthy sexual activity is linked to a stronger immune system.
Pain Relief: The release of endorphins and oxytocin can act as a natural pain reliever.
Cardiovascular Health: It is a form of physical exercise that benefits heart health.
Risks of Detached Sexuality: Conversely, promiscuous or irresponsible sexual behavior carries documented medical risks, including a higher probability of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and associated long-term health complications like infertility or certain cancers.
Rule 2: Understand the Bonding Power of Oxytocin.
Support: Oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone" or "love drug," is released during intimate physical touch, especially during orgasm.
This neurochemical facilitates attachment and emotional bonding. This biological fact supports the idea that sexuality is designed for creating and strengthening deep, lasting pairs (marriage), not just for momentary self-gratification.
2. The Psychological Perspective: The Mind's Well-being
Rule 3: Seek Integration, Not Just Gratification.
Support: From a psychological standpoint, mental health is about integration—where our actions, feelings, and values are in harmony.
When sexuality is divorced from commitment, love, and responsibility, it can lead to internal conflict, guilt, anxiety, and a fragmented sense of self.
Attachment Theory: Secure, long-term attachments (as in a strong marriage) are the bedrock of psychological security. They provide a "safe haven" from stress and a "secure base" from which to explore the world.
Using sexuality to build this secure attachment leads to greater long-term happiness and mental stability than using it solely for transient pleasure.
The "Suicidal" Nature of Pleasure: Psychologically, pleasures become "suicidal" when they become addictive behaviors that destroy one's self-esteem, emotional stability, and capacity for healthy relationships.
This aligns perfectly with the warning against behaviors that lead to the "collapse of marriage" and "decadence of family life."
Rule 4: Sexuality is About Communication and Intimacy, Not Just Performance.
Support: Healthy sexual relationships require vulnerability, trust, and open communication. This builds emotional intimacy, which is a powerful buffer against depression, loneliness, and anxiety.
A relationship focused only on physical gratification lacks this depth and is often less satisfying and more unstable.
3. The Spiritual & Religious Perspective: The Soul's Connection
Rule 5: View Sexuality as a Sacred Trust, Not a Secular Act.
Support: In the biblical view, the physical and spiritual are intertwined. Sexuality is not merely biological; it is a spiritual act with profound consequences.
Biblical Support:
Creation is Good (Genesis 1:31): "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." This includes our bodies and our capacity for sexual pleasure within the context He designed.
Self-Control as a Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23): For those called to celibacy or while waiting for marriage, self-control is not about repression but a positive spiritual power that allows one to direct energy toward love, joy, peace, and service.
Synthesized Rules for Your Church Community
1. The Principle of Wholeness: Embrace your sexuality as a good gift from God, designed to integrate your body, mind, and spirit in the context of a committed, loving marriage.
2. The Principle of Stewardship: Care for your physical and mental health by understanding the biology of sexuality and choosing behaviors that promote long-term well-being, not just short-term pleasure.
3. The Principle of Covenant: Reserve sexual intimacy for the lifelong, faithful covenant of marriage between a man and a woman, recognizing it as the "one-flesh" union God designed to create a stable home and family.
4. The Principle of Mutual Love: Within marriage, sexuality should be characterized by selfless love, open communication, and mutual respect, serving to strengthen the bond and bring joy to both partners.
5. The Principle of Destiny: Always evaluate your choices against the "goal of destiny." Does this behavior build up my future, my spouse, and my family? Or does it risk damaging these sacred institutions for a momentary gratification?
God is the Coolest!
God is not a killjoy. He invented joy. The boundaries He provides, through both revelation and the natural order He created, are not to keep us from pleasure, but to guide us toward the deepest, most sustainable, and most meaningful joys—those that build up our lives, our families, and our souls, rather than tearing them down.
In this way, a rightly ordered sexuality becomes a source of true health, lasting stability, and profound spiritual connection.
The Church’s Perspective
Let's look at its actual guidance:
1. It validates Exploration and Pleasure: The passage is unequivocal: "Let man enjoy himself; let the human race find pleasure in a thousand and one ways; let evolutionary mankind explore all forms of legitimate self-gratification.” The key word is "legitimate." This affirms the human drive for pleasure and exploration as an earned right of our evolutionary struggle.
2. It defines Legitimacy by Consequence, Not by a Simple List: So, what makes a pleasure "legitimate"? The church immediately provides the criteria: Is it suicidal to self-maintenance (property, career, health)? Does it come at the fatal cost of the future home and family?
This means the question is not "Is this act allowed?" but "What does this act build, and what does it risk?"
"Exploration" that leads to profound emotional scarring, STIs, unintended pregnancy, or a pattern of using people for gratification would be "illegitimate" because it destroys the foundations of a future stable life.
3. It Places a Supreme Value on the Marriage Institution: The Church's strong caution comes from a place of seeing the end goal.
From a divine perspective, the temporary pleasures of unfettered sexual exploration are trivial compared to the supreme evolutionary value of a lifelong, loving, spiritual partnership.
The risk is that the pattern of transient relationships makes one incapable of the depth, loyalty, and sacrifice required for a true marriage.
Bishop’s Analysis: Reconciling Exploration with Destiny
1. The Difference Between "Exploration" and "Experimentation"
Exploration (Purposeful): This is the process of learning about yourself, your needs, your emotions, and what makes a good partner. It involves building emotional intimacy, practicing communication, developing discernment about character, and understanding the profound power of sexual union. This can and should happen before marriage.
Experimentation (Recreational): This is the use of sexuality primarily for pleasure and novelty, often with a detachment of emotion from the physical act. This is what the church warns against, not because pleasure is bad, but because it often trains the soul in the wrong direction—toward disposability and self-gratification—making the ultimate goal of a sacred, lasting union more difficult to achieve.
The oxytocin we discussed is a perfect example. This "bonding hormone" doesn't care about your philosophical views on casual sex. It creates a subconscious emotional attachment. Repeatedly forming and breaking these neurochemical bonds can, for many people, lead to what's called "attachment fatigue," making it harder to form a deep, secure bond with a life partner later.
2. How to Explore Wisely and Legitimately
The divine mandate isn't "no exploration," but "explore in a way that leads toward your destiny, not away from it." So, what does "legitimate" pre-marital exploration look like?
It is Relational, Not Just Physical: The exploration is focused on the whole person. You are exploring compatibility, values, conflict resolution, and shared life goals, with sexuality being one expression of that growing intimacy, not the sole purpose of the relationship.
It is Character-Building: Does this relationship make you a more patient, kind, forgiving, and selfless person? Or does it make you more jealous, anxious, selfish, or insecure? The relationship itself is a tool for soul growth.
It Honors the "Trial Marriage" Concept Implicitly: Modern courtship is, in effect, a trial marriage. It's a period to assess long-term compatibility.
The question is, are you conducting this "trial" with the solemnity and respect it deserves, or as a recreational pastime?
It Respects the Power of the Mechanism: Legitimate exploration involves a sober respect for the potential consequences—emotional, physical, and spiritual.
It involves taking responsible steps (like clear communication and health protections) to ensure that the exploration does not become "suicidal" to one's future.
Bishop’s Conclusion
"God is not a killjoy. He designed you with curiosity and a capacity for profound pleasure. Your desire to explore and find a partner is good and God-given.
However, God also designed the system. He designed oxytocin to bond hearts. He designed sexuality to be a powerful creative and unitive force. He designed the family as the bedrock of all human progress.
So, the question isn't 'How much can I get away with?' The question is, 'How can I navigate this powerful part of my life in a way that makes me stronger, wiser, and more capable of love, rather than more wounded, cynical, and alone?'
'Exploration' that builds your capacity for lifelong commitment is wise. 'Experimentation' that trains you to see people as disposable objects for pleasure is what the celestials call 'suicidal.'
Your journey is your own. But your choices are either building a foundation for the 'supreme evolutionary ‘acquisition' of a sacred home, or they are quietly dismantling your ability to ever have one. Choose your exploration with the 'goal of destiny' in mind.
The point in plain English is:
Imagine life is like a big, fun game, adventure or playground.
Here's what it means:
1. Have Fun! It's okay to be happy and enjoy your life. People have worked hard for thousands of years to build a world where we can have fun in many different ways. You've earned the right to feel good!
2. But Remember the Big Goal: The Bishop says, "Look at the goal!" This means don't get so distracted by fun that you forget what's really important in the long run.
3. Don't Destroy the Important Stuff: The "important stuff" is:
Property (Your Property & Job): This is how you take care of yourself. If your fun makes you lose your job or waste all your money, that's a problem. Fun becomes "suicidal" because it hurts your ability to survive.
Marriage & Family (Your Home): This is the most important thing people have built together.
If your fun hurts your family or anyone else's family, or wrecks anyone's home, then the price of that fun is way too high.
It's like destroying the entire playground for one moment of fun.
So, in short: Enjoy yourself! But never let your fun destroy the things that keep you safe, loved, and able to have a good life in the future—especially your family and your home."
To Request Personal Well-Being Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Marital Counseling or Post Marital Counseling