Because the reasons for and sources of fear can be so diverse, it may take you a while to write down all of your fears on paper. It may very well take you some time trying to understand where they are stemming from. It is important to realize that when you are doing this your fears may not always be for yourself, and sometimes the source of them is not always trauma.
For example, you may be fearful when your child begins to go to school by themselves because you know about the missing children and kidnapping statistics. Even if some fears aren’t taking over your life and are not at the point of holding you or others in your life back, it’s a good idea to list them all so that you can decide which fears need working on and which ones you have overcome.
Knowing which fears you have overcome can also help to serve as an example for what you want to achieve with the fears which are currently causing problems for you. When tackling your worst fears, it’s helpful to be aware of the things you do when faced with the fears that you manage well so that you can make the effort to consciously implement these strategies.
Fear ultimately gives us an opportunity to show courage and faith. When things occur in life that we consider as 'bad', we fear them ever happening again. We also fear the 'bad experiences' we observe in other people's lives. Be aware that each of us make the conscious decision to consider something as good or bad. In actuality, no occurrence is good or bad..... Things just happen. To accept this is to overcome fear. Acceptance is the key to overcoming fear.
When we accept things for what they are, we have a better capacity for making improvements and/or finding solutions. Giving in to fear only causes problems to grow.
Now granted, fear is a natural reaction and feeling. However it can be controlled and used in ways that benefit us.
Changing your mind-set to one which is more positive is absolutely crucial to conquering your fears. If you think negatively most of the time, feeling fearful will naturally become more intensified with negative thoughts and emotions such as ‘I can’t do this’, or ‘if I do this, something bad will happen’.
Learning how to change the tone of your thoughts is all down to knowing how to recognize negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
As with practicing gratitude, this will also take a conscious effort on your part. For example, you could write a ‘thought swap list’ which could read something like this:
‘I can’t do this’ – swap for: ‘I will try my best to do this’;
‘Why is this happening?’ – swap for: ‘This is happening for a reason, and I’ll find that reason’;
‘I’m a failure’ – swap for: ‘I’m not ready to give up trying’;
‘I’m going to have a hard time adjusting to this’ – swap for: ‘I’m ready to tackle the challenges I’m about to face!’’.
In your list, include all the negative thoughts which you frequently find popping into your mind, and come up with a more positive alternative. Each time you start to think negatively, you’ll know exactly what you should be focusing on thinking instead. It’ll take time to get used to but eventually, you’ll begin to view things more positively as a force of habit.