Hello.

I am Michael Machette VanHelsing, Founder and your Trainer here at SLOTH MUSCLE. I am NOT your average trainer and SLOTH MUSCLE is NOT your average fitness program. There is nothing more important to me than helping Humanity become better in any way that I can. Therefore, it is my pleasure to assist each and every one of you on your health and fitness journeys. LET'S GET IT!

My Story

9/25/2025

SLOTH MUSCLE Founder & Coach: Michael M. VanHelsing

My Proof: I am 50 years young, with the body of a man that is in his 30s. I have NO health issues, NO injuries or disabilities and here's the thing... I am FASTER, STRONGER, SMARTER, WISER and all around a better man than I was at 30. Let me put it another way.

I would BEAT my 30-year-old self in a race, I can lift more weight now than my 30- year-old self could, and I have way more endurance. I would ALSO kick my 30-year-old self's ass! I personally do not understand the general perception of aging.

My Promise to You: I'm not just selling you a cookie cutter system or something I put together from other people's programs. I ran into this system quite by accident. (Check the Shop to explore my Personal Services)

The SLOTH MUSCLE STORY

Back in 2007, I was locked up and hustled myself down to 133lbs at 33 years old and 6'2" tall. EXTREMELY underweight. I ended up being transferred to a camp where I made friends with two guys that were way bigger than me and I don't mean height, I mean ALL MUSCLE! Because we were all cool, they decided to take my head out of my books and get me to the 'weight pile' to put some meat on my bones so to speak. When I got to the weight pile everybody that was working out stopped to stare at the skinny guy. One of them said with the mad face, "We're not taking all these plates off just so he can get his little workout!". My friends were cool with them, so it wasn't a hostile situation, but they were dead serious about what he said.

Thing is, they were right. My friend Rodney set me up with a curl bar with one 10lb plate on each end. He told me to lay down on the bench and then he put the weight in my hands. It didn't feel heavy at all. What WAS heavy was the next thing that came out of Rodney's mouth, which was "YOUR SH!T IS PITIFUL!", with his index finger pointed at my forehead.

I worked my way up to the point that I was able to work out with everybody else, but here's how they got me there. They used something they called 'negatives' when we were working out. For example, when performing a barbell bench press, we would explode on the way up but come down really slow. Nobody else on the weight pile was doing this but...

In combination with my diet, my friends GOT ME BIG! I mean like BIG BIG! I went from 133 to 180 in like 3-4 months. When I came home, the people that know me all had something to say about how big I got. The difference was that apparent. This was my experience with negatives, and I used them ever since.

Around the year 2019, I went through heartbreak and depression. I unknowingly lost A LOT of weight along with everything else I lost. When I finally snapped out of it, I decided to work on myself, so I bought a set of dumbbells. I already knew how to get big fast from my experience in prison. Here's the thing though, on my road to recovery I noticed a problem. My left arm was getting big faster than my right arm. It took me a while to figure it out but, then it hit me like a ton of bricks!

Since my daughter was born in 2019, I have always taken her for walks around the neighborhood. I would carry her in my left arm. Our walks were at least 1 hour, and she went from newborn weight to over 30lbs over a few years-time. Ha! HOLDS WERE GETTING MY LEFT ARM BIG! In the fitness realm, holds are called Isometrics. This is why I decided to combine my two experiences into one workout program.

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I checked the science, I checked the medical field, I checked the fitness industry to make sure nobody else had the same program and I got all green lights. The sheer fact that I INVENTED my own workout program pretty much meant that I HAD TO create an entire system to help others the same way it helped me. And there you have it, the SLOTH MUSCLE ISOMETRIC NEGATIVE TRAINING Program. You can imagine why I chose the sloth. The animal itself represents the workout program AND the fitness industry used EVERY other animal as a mascot! smh

I used the SLOTH MUSCLE method to transform my own body when nothing else worked. I'm here to guide you, motivate you, and provide the HUMAN accountability that makes all the difference. This is my life's work, and your success is my success.

I went from dropping back down to 130 something to using this system as an experiment and gained 20lbs BACK in about 3 months! My new goal is to get back to 180+. This means that we will all be on this journey TOGETHER!